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kelissa

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kelissa
  • Town/Country : California, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 October 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 2199
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About kelissa : My names Kelissa as noted by my user. don't comment or anything much, just come here for laughs. you know to get away from it all. and it works. :)

kelissa's last visitors

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kelissa's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kelissa's badges

kelissa's favorite FMLs

Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML

#20133155
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18815) - you deserved it (4875)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by mental - United States

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5413) - you deserved it (48801)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

#20124963
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30840) - you deserved it (2549)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

#20119984
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21348) - you deserved it (4098)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

#20117763
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6071) - you deserved it (52339)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

#20109009
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15053) - you deserved it (6495)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30478) - you deserved it (3184)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML

#20103277
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11725) - you deserved it (27903)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19403) - you deserved it (2573)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML

#20101066
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21718) - you deserved it (4097)

On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States

Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML

#20101066
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21718) - you deserved it (4097)

On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30004) - you deserved it (4272)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23594) - you deserved it (3106)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband of five years left me for a woman ten years older than himself who lives nine hours away. He met her online two weeks ago while playing Call of Duty. FML

#20091576
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27224) - you deserved it (2046)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:14pm - love - by strawberrywine22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

#20089025
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24722) - you deserved it (1319)

On 09/26/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ahappypenguin -



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