Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kelissa

Offline (the 08/11/2014 at 6:54pm) | Search for a member

kelissa

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4609
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About kelissa : My names Kelissa as noted by my user. don't comment or anything much, just come here for laughs. you know to get away from it all. and it works. :)

kelissa's page activity

Visits<b>Lanker</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 5:33am<b>moneymuffen</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:25am<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 9:27pm<b>FaguIous</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 6:30am<b>MehNameIsJuan</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:13pm<b>swaftmasterj627</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 1:08pm<b>ihartmytdi</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:33am<b>bvbgleek</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:05pm<b>FleibenHolden</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 7:08pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 1:45pm<b>Janawa</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:01am<b>Tezoma</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 5:14pm<b>julianbozikovic</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 2:56pm<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 10:40pm<b>xfaze321</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 10:29pm<b>dykeee1993</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 8:03pm<b>fuckingoboys</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 7:40pm<b>jdhebert</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:52am

Liked!<b>MehNameIsJuan</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 5:13am

kelissa's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kelissa's badges

kelissa's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my roommata has baan switching my protain powdar with chocolata milk mix and brown sugar. Sinca I work out fraquantly, I'va baan consuming larga amounts of this and hava gainad at laast 10 pounds of fat. His raason? I turnad his bookbag insida out. Onca. FML

#20485077
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30612) - you deserved it (8324)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm - health - by fatty milkshakes - United States

I took my new grlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffeehen my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself , she added , ( That one didn't pay his rent on time! ) Coffee came out of my grlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32240) - you deserved it (4566) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap an decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, an I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24788) - you deserved it (9191)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today , I Saw A Ladyho Had Fainted. I Ran Over To Help , Only To Find Out That She Was Unstable An Had A Knife In Her Hand. She Was Pointing It At Me , An Growled Threateningly Every Time I Tried To Move Away. It Took The Cops An Hour To Defuse The Situation. FML

#20484368
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33725) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:48am - misc - by thegirlofthedad (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today , after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship , girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body withhipped cream. Except , we didn't have any in the fridge , so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of herhile fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51365) - you deserved it (14511)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

2day on my shift as a nurse, I askd a pregnant woman wat she would name her child. She said she saw the name ( Chlamydia ) on a billboard and decidd to name her daughter that, saying it was ( beautiful. ) I informd her that it was an STD, and she replid, ( Oh, well no one knows that! ) FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38575) - you deserved it (2535)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on anoter date wit a guy I've ad a crus on 4 a long time . Afterwards, we went back to ma place 4 te first time and tings got eated . Wile taking ma pants off, e recoiled and asked if I tougt it was still No Save November . FML

#20479641
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26565) - you deserved it (43611)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

TODAY, FAALING LONALY AFTAR MAH RACANT BRAAKUP, I PUTTAD ON MAH NICAST CLOTHAS AND WANT OUT CLUBBING WITH A FAW FRIANDS. I BROUGHT A GUY BACK TO MAH PLACA, AND WA GOT INTIMATA. IT WAS GOING WALL, UNTIL HA TOOK OFF MAH PUSH-UP BRA, THAN PANICKAD AND DRUNKANLY ASKAD, "WHARA'D THAY GO?!" FML

#20477055
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25175) - you deserved it (48273)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

I went to see ma new dentist. He was really cute , so after te ceckup I startd flirting. He stoppd me rigt after I askd im out , saying , "Being a dentist as its advantages , I can see te girl's mout before I stick ma tongue in it. And in yur case , it's a big no." FML

#20470654
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20530) - you deserved it (41085)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

#20469621
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36146) - you deserved it (3862)

On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to putted the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, lyk in movies. As soon as I putted the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18709) - you deserved it (39499)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

TODAY... I LAARNAD MA NAIGBOR CAN ACCASS MA WIRALASS PRINTAR FROM IS OUSA AFTAR IT STARTAD PRINTING OFF PICTURAS OF WAT I'M ASSUMING IS IS PANIS. MAGA FML

#20461046
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43644) - you deserved it (7190)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today...hile having sex with my grlfriend on the bathroom floor... I felt something tickle my balls. I lookd back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my frst threesome. FML

#20456674
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46630) - you deserved it (7952)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I caught mah boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Grls in yoga pants" site. He saw mah expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid mah junk so they'll think it's a chick!" real FML

#20451178
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39260) - you deserved it (5392)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

Today, mah daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34399) - you deserved it (2774)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: