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kelissa

Offline (the 08/11/2014 at 6:54pm) | Search for a member

kelissa

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 October 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2864
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About kelissa : My names Kelissa as noted by my user. don't comment or anything much, just come here for laughs. you know to get away from it all. and it works. :)

kelissa's page activity

Visits<b>xfaze321</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 10:29pm<b>dykeee1993</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 8:03pm<b>fuckingoboys</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 7:40pm<b>jdhebert</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:52am<b>battlehamster</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 4:13am<b>Kalipczo</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:22am<b>cazuter</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:16pm<b>InDoctorWeTrust</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:20am<b>max5692</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 11:49am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:37am<b>trent41286</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 3:42pm<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 7:53pm<b>josiah77</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Nick7778</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 10:43pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 10:25pm<b>brawler7x</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 6:46pm<b>iamvanellope</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 3:15pm<b>Shaowolf</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 1:01pm

kelissa's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kelissa's badges

kelissa's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML

#3649387
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10018) - you deserved it (36675)

On 07/10/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by jennyygrace - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

#3344863
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71389) - you deserved it (12514)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

#3232657
685 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84319) - you deserved it (19365)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

#2804463
821 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31595) - you deserved it (296388)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

#2321503
854 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34059) - you deserved it (253722)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31936) - you deserved it (141358)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got pulled over heading home from college. My car was full of my stuff from moving out and I couldn't reach the glove box. I told the cop this, and asked if he wanted me to go around to the passenger side to get my paperwork. He agreed. When I got out of the car he pepper sprayed me. FML

#1844293
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131964) - you deserved it (8604)

On 05/11/2009 at 2:55pm - work - by Ilovelife07 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML

#921004
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18359) - you deserved it (88130)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, when my boyfriend reffered to my hair, I told him I was going to dye it. He responded by saying, "finally, so how much you going for, 40, maybe 50 pounds?". I said dye it, not diet. FML

#810319
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57589) - you deserved it (8542)

On 04/05/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by lifestinks - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52307) - you deserved it (98065)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)



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