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kelissa

Offline (the 08/11/2014 at 6:54pm) | Search for a member

kelissa

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3089
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About kelissa : My names Kelissa as noted by my user. don't comment or anything much, just come here for laughs. you know to get away from it all. and it works. :)

kelissa's page activity

Visits<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 10:40pm<b>xfaze321</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 10:29pm<b>dykeee1993</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 8:03pm<b>fuckingoboys</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 7:40pm<b>jdhebert</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:52am<b>battlehamster</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 4:13am<b>Kalipczo</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:22am<b>cazuter</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:16pm<b>InDoctorWeTrust</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:20am<b>max5692</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 11:49am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:37am<b>trent41286</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 3:42pm<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 7:53pm<b>josiah77</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Nick7778</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 10:43pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 10:25pm<b>brawler7x</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 6:46pm<b>iamvanellope</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 3:15pm

kelissa's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kelissa's badges

kelissa's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

#20526083
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36777) - you deserved it (10645)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML

#20524308
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32704) - you deserved it (5177)

On 02/27/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by dangerZone - United States (Georgia)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39141) - you deserved it (10339)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

#20511181
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33974) - you deserved it (5288)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, whilst on a phone interview with a college I really want to go to, my mother picks up the other line and shouts into the phone "She's not going to college, she's lazy and she'll only disappoint you." The interviewer hung up before I could say anything. FML

#20508072
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38469) - you deserved it (2553)

On 02/15/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by parentalissues (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

#20505342
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40563) - you deserved it (4548)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML

#20504733
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31070) - you deserved it (2615)

On 02/13/2013 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (North Ayrshire)

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

#20498998
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32135) - you deserved it (8182)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

#20498986
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19772) - you deserved it (40586)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57430) - you deserved it (10875)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

#20497564
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20247) - you deserved it (5171)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by djxerxes9000 - Canada

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML

#20496820
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11766) - you deserved it (35422)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML

#20493182
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68639) - you deserved it (3914)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27650) - you deserved it (3199)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I had a half-hour conversation with my parents about going to college. I don't know what's worse, that they were trying to talk me out of it or that they're convinced that I'm going to get knocked up and drop out by the end of my freshman year. FML

#20492659
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25994) - you deserved it (2927)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)



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