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Offline (the 08/11/2014 at 6:54pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 October 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7166
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About kelissa : My names Kelissa as noted by my user. don't comment or anything much, just come here for laughs. you know to get away from it all. and it works. :)

kelissa's page activity

Visits<b>Role448</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 2:57am<b>niftyismybitch</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 5:56am<b>cookiesFTW</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 11:12pm<b>dno79</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 10:04am<b>fader402</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 8:38am<b>soapysurprise</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 1:33am<b>refticon</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 4:06am<b>UserError94</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 12:41am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 6:05am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 5:13pm<b>TwentyOnePilots1</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:16am<b>Westifer</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Knaxer</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 9:26am<b>bklswagger</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 4:48pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 6:44pm<b>cmontaz</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 12:04pm<b>Shamandalie89</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 9:11am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 9:09pm

Fucked!<b>refticon</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 10:06am<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 10:10pm<b>MehNameIsJuan</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 5:13am

kelissa's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kelissa's badges

kelissa's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

by Christina / 12/05/2011 at 12:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Money

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

by scewable / 10/13/2011 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2011 at 4:52am / India (Karnataka) / Kids

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

by knickersdontfit / 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML

by fatty / 08/03/2010 at 6:37pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2010 at 8:27pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend asked for me to come to her. Then move my head in close to her and close my eyes. Expecting a sweet and romantic kiss I positioned my lips for my surprise. My surprise wasn't a kiss, instead it was a nice crunchy booger she placed in my mouth with her finger. FML

by TattedAsian / 01/11/2010 at 2:28am / United States (Missouri) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML

by acneface / 10/21/2009 at 2:59am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML

by ewewew / 09/24/2009 at 6:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML

by pokie / 08/30/2009 at 1:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML

by jennyygrace / 07/10/2009 at 8:16pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous