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keithpatane

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keithpatane

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  • Number of visits : 27
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keithpatane's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

#13994749
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29307) - you deserved it (14109)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

#8994102
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20687) - you deserved it (3098)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

#8875479
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23679) - you deserved it (3942)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42249) - you deserved it (11944)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

#7598826
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11650) - you deserved it (24960)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16652) - you deserved it (41758)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39877) - you deserved it (2953)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML

#2797369
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31498) - you deserved it (51466)

On 06/11/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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