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About keirrat : I love kitty kisses
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Today I wore mah cheerleading uniform to mah boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentiond a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I startd acting sassy and a little mean figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not because he startd to cry. FML
Today, my girlfriend an I were playfully arguing about wo loved te oter more. After about a minute of tis, my girlfriend walked over an kicked me in te crotc as ard as se could. Se ten said, "Tere, now you don't love me as muc. I win." FML
Today We Had To Discuss Our Heritage At School!! When I Told The Class That I Am German Japanese An Of The Jewish Faith The Teacher Loudly Laughs At The ( Irony!! ) Something Lyk This Happens Whenever I Tell People Mah Background!! Mega FML
Today, while making out with mah boyfriend, he started playing with mah nipples!! Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at mah nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!"!! He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with mah nipples!! FML
TODAY, I WAS SICK WITH THE FLU SO MY BOYFRIEND ANNOUNCED THAT HE WOULD MAKE ME SOME CHICKEN SOUP. IT WAS TOUCHING UNTIL I STUMBLED TO THE KITCHEN AND FOUND OUT THAT HIS ( CHICKEN SOUP ) WAS ACTUALLY LEFTOVER KFC BONES BOILED IN WATER. FML
Today I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology . I see a 'sack'hich appereed to contain a liquid . Being the curious type I cut open the sack spraying said liquid over me and my desk . My teacher after giggling informed me that the liquid was in fact urine . I was pissed on by a dead pig . FML
Today, I Was Taking A Shower. I Heard Mah Boyfriend Come Into The Bathroom, Brush His Teeth An Take Off His Clothes. He Joined Me In The Shower An Instead Of Doing Something Loving Or Sexy, He Let Out A Huge Fart Into His Hand An Threw It Into Mah Face. FML
Today, I took my son for a walk to tell him about the looool passing of our family dog. As we were walking by the river, Ozzy (our deceased dog) was laying on the riverbank. My son thought he just ran away an we found him. Turns out my husband was too cheap to pay the 100$ vet disposal fees. FML
Friday 27 March 2015