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keepcalmandbacon

Offline (the 09/07/2014 at 11:01pm) | Search for a member

keepcalmandbacon

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 970
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About keepcalmandbacon : One does not simply write a description of oneself on FML.

keepcalmandbacon's page activity

Visits<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 4:53pm<b>K_kanaka</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 12:33am<b>anonymity12345</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 1:54pm<b>Pwn17</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 4:02pm<b>JtPv</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 9:25pm<b>KaiserCreame</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 7:09am<b>nikenico14</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 6:37pm<b>baxeh</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 7:46am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 6:34am<b>jojimugo</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 3:09am<b>a_lyrical_ass</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 3:58am<b>olpally</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 12:07pm<b>graffitied_love</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 12:29am<b>NakedandScared</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 4:43pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 9:01am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:10am<b>losername77</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 11:06pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 2:29am

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keepcalmandbacon's favorite FMLs

Today, I got in a heated fight and ended up being punched in the jaw. The fight was about Harry Potter. FML

#20856159
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34340) - you deserved it (19124)

On 08/27/2013 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

#20852114
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44422) - you deserved it (3164)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by cassidy_smith12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45121) - you deserved it (10584)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I got fired from my job at an age care facility because I was too nice to my residents. My boss told me "They're deaf, blind and about to jump head first into the grave. We don't pay you to be kind." FML

#20842873
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48609) - you deserved it (2705)

On 08/18/2013 at 7:43am - work - by sweet23 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

#20842045
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50743) - you deserved it (6641)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by frustrated - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML

#20838741
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50193) - you deserved it (3043)

On 08/15/2013 at 1:39pm - health - by Anonymous - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML

Today, I found out that my dad writes really weird and scary slash fiction involving characters from all of the CSI TV show franchises. FML

#20836611
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32698) - you deserved it (3474)

On 08/14/2013 at 2:41am - misc - by HoratioNo (man) - United States (California)

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48089) - you deserved it (17157)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at a concert, my boyfriend got mad and jealous because I kept looking at the singer instead of him. He still won't talk to me. FML

#20834941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49304) - you deserved it (6213)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:58am - love - by really? - United States

Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML

#20833570
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52102) - you deserved it (3947)

On 08/12/2013 at 10:30am - love - by iwearsilkgownstoeatwaffles (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, I was walking along the beach at night with my family. A huge wave came up and knocked me over. When we got to the van, I realized that the keys that had been in my pocket were now in the ocean. Our cell phones, shoes, and money were in the van. We had to walk three miles to our hotel. FML

#20831839
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40369) - you deserved it (6183)

On 08/11/2013 at 3:28am - misc - by cricketsins (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all went to hell; I slipped and fell, bringing down with me the curtain and grooming products, and putting my back out. There goes my sex life. FML

#20829515
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45735) - you deserved it (6647)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:23pm - intimacy - by hunchback of notre bite (woman) - Korea, Republic of

Today, I realized that my boyfriend only has sex with me to get me to shut up. FML

#20827840
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44548) - you deserved it (19071)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by blissful oblivion (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)



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