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keepcalmandbacon

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keepcalmandbacon
  • Town/Country : Fire Capitol, Fire Nation
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 81
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About keepcalmandbacon : One does not simply write a description of oneself on FML.

keepcalmandbacon's last visitors

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keepcalmandbacon's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of keepcalmandbacon's badges

keepcalmandbacon's favorite FMLs

Today, my English teacher used the word "interpretate" again. This isn't the only mistake she's made though; I've been so frustrated that I've started a list of them. It's over a page long. I'm meant to be learning things from this woman. FML

#20582580
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27464) - you deserved it (2551)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:09pm - work - by Annoyed Student - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40627) - you deserved it (4301)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML

#20575849
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24164) - you deserved it (2324)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:04am - misc - by Gem - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19052) - you deserved it (57920)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was denied a job because the guy interviewing me said that I was an illiterate blonde girl who used fake words like "plethora" and "viable". I told him I would leave, after he spelled the word "illiterate". He spelled it wrong and had me escorted from the premises. "Eeletterote" my ass. FML

#20569362
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40042) - you deserved it (1876)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:44am - work - by Nefi (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to proof-read a terrible paper containing a bunch of mistakes. It took me 4 hours and I didn't eat dinner until I was done. His response when he got it back was, "What the fuck did you do to my paper?! You bitch!" FML

#20569253
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26984) - you deserved it (1861)

On 03/31/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by pissed_off_girl - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28106) - you deserved it (4377)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, the girl I thought I was dating got into a fight with me over the phone. She did this because she bet her boyfriend that she could make me cry on FaceTime. She won the bet. FML

#20567223
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29422) - you deserved it (3555)

On 03/30/2013 at 6:22pm - love - by J. Homen - United States

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He slowly turned to face me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17028) - you deserved it (45930)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML

#20550555
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33633) - you deserved it (2454)

On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

#20530358
185 comments

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

#20507167
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9822) - you deserved it (28452)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23783) - you deserved it (21632)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

#20488681
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27421) - you deserved it (7965)

On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37387) - you deserved it (4146) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version



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