About keepcalmandbacon : One does not simply write a description of oneself on FML.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36101) - you deserved it (4966)
On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35656) - you deserved it (13791)
On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States
Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41283) - you deserved it (4216)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41386) - you deserved it (2760)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44278) - you deserved it (7875)
On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)
Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52504) - you deserved it (3095)
On 05/09/2013 at 1:30am - health - by Screwed Up (man) - United States
Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27147) - you deserved it (35155)
On 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by blondie107 - United States (Texas)
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
I agree, your life sucks (44077) - you deserved it (6072)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53559) - you deserved it (7624)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13787) - you deserved it (31444)
On 05/01/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he says I need to learn how to be happy without relying on him. I'm not a clinger, I'm just unhappy because my dad recently passed away, my best friend turned on me, and I lost out on the exchange program of my dreams. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48551) - you deserved it (2865)
On 04/27/2013 at 12:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark
Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66230) - you deserved it (8132)
On 04/23/2013 at 2:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41920) - you deserved it (2617)
On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44824) - you deserved it (7228)
On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, for the first time, I told my girlfriend of two months that I love her. She broke down in laughter and mockingly asked, "What are you, some kind of queer?" I could've sworn she was mentally older than a 5-year-old when I asked her out. I guess not. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35582) - you deserved it (6031)
On 04/12/2013 at 5:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
