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keepcalmandbacon

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keepcalmandbacon

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 758
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About keepcalmandbacon : One does not simply write a description of oneself on FML.

keepcalmandbacon's page activity

Visits<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 4:53pm<b>K_kanaka</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 12:33am<b>anonymity12345</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 1:54pm<b>Pwn17</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 4:02pm<b>JtPv</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 9:25pm<b>KaiserCreame</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 7:09am<b>nikenico14</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 6:37pm<b>baxeh</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 7:46am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 6:34am<b>jojimugo</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 3:09am<b>a_lyrical_ass</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 3:58am<b>olpally</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 12:07pm<b>graffitied_love</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 12:29am<b>NakedandScared</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 4:43pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 9:01am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:10am<b>losername77</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 11:06pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 2:29am

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keepcalmandbacon's favorite FMLs

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31495) - you deserved it (47581)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML

#20988657
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50382) - you deserved it (3360)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

#20974515
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55732) - you deserved it (6054)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43385) - you deserved it (2914)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

#20950354
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41502) - you deserved it (17494)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by notsogood - United States

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61792) - you deserved it (4029)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

#20943397
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42372) - you deserved it (7614)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:34am - animals - by katchoo (woman) - Denmark

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37149) - you deserved it (10567)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, my 19-year-old, long-distance boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to text me all day because it's too hard to type while in his Spider-Man suit. It's non-negotiable. FML

#20940116
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35476) - you deserved it (13861)

On 10/31/2013 at 10:30am - love - by AML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that, although I have the same job title and complete the same work as my male colleagues, I get paid 15% less, purely because I'm a girl. FML

#20939397
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52915) - you deserved it (7690)

On 10/30/2013 at 6:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

#20939175
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42758) - you deserved it (13332)

On 10/30/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by English_Nut117 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML

#20936378
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27292) - you deserved it (40412)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:58am - love - by BaconLover - Japan

Today, the tickets I bought for my favorite band's concert arrived in the mail. The concert was last night. FML

#20935170
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45803) - you deserved it (4136)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by MsConfusedd (woman) - United States

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42851) - you deserved it (4667)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26942) - you deserved it (38687)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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