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Mobility
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Up and coming moderator
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36851) - you deserved it (3415)
On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40026) - you deserved it (3627)
On 05/13/2013 at 12:29am - animals - by JamiesMom (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27968) - you deserved it (3647)
On 03/13/2013 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22594) - you deserved it (5540)
On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44558) - you deserved it (7274)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24255) - you deserved it (5701)
On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19245) - you deserved it (8566)
On 12/20/2012 at 2:50pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Canarias)
Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8311) - you deserved it (20016)
On 12/20/2012 at 1:17pm - misc - by ScoozieBooze (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27544) - you deserved it (9439)
On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27544) - you deserved it (9439)
On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27084) - you deserved it (14051)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)
Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23542) - you deserved it (2127)
On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23085) - you deserved it (3234)
On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)
Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14928) - you deserved it (2027)
On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37565) - you deserved it (4966)
On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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