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kcirose

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kcirose

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  • Number of visits : 130
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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kcirose's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

#20717146
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43244) - you deserved it (12576)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States

Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML

#20675696
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35172) - you deserved it (4438)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm - health - by pixkalexi - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

#20675025
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46757) - you deserved it (3144)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50410) - you deserved it (4873)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML

#20542666
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33482) - you deserved it (5217)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28922) - you deserved it (7526)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55357) - you deserved it (9846)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

#20409224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28999) - you deserved it (6116)

On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

#20409045
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23913) - you deserved it (9104)

On 12/20/2012 at 2:50pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Canarias)

Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML

#20408937
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10166) - you deserved it (28237)

On 12/20/2012 at 1:17pm - misc - by ScoozieBooze (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37840) - you deserved it (13816)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37840) - you deserved it (13816)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33014) - you deserved it (18998)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31117) - you deserved it (3244)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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