kbball95

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kbball95

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2710
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kbball95's page activity

Visits<b>kkscott</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 6:04pm<b>lesalmi</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:59pm<b>Sebas11</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 11:11pm<b>im_joking</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 8:47pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 6:13pm<b>bps315</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 4:18pm

kbball95's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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kbball95's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

by techiefIve / 06/14/2011 at 6:04am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

by John jacob / 06/13/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

by Ryan / 06/11/2011 at 10:24am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

by julia / 06/11/2011 at 7:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML

by IPityTheStool / 06/09/2011 at 9:22am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML

by Punk / 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got kneed in the stomach by a sixth grader. I couldn't breathe. I have a black belt in Taekwondo. FML

by Stiny / 06/01/2011 at 2:44pm / United States / Health

Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML

by Username / 05/29/2011 at 12:41am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

by valerie / 05/27/2011 at 9:04pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

by diddlebuag / 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I found out that since I stopped shaving my legs, my boyfriend and his friends have started referring to me as a Wookiee. FML

by FMLer / 05/27/2011 at 4:57pm / United States (Washington) / Geek

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

by Alice / 05/27/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I had to give a 63 year old man a shot. He started bawling before I even brought out the needle. I tried to get him calm down. Then he grabbed the needle, threw it at me and ran out the door. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work