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kbball95

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kbball95
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1078
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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kbball95's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend admitted the reason he was dating me was because he has a fetish for grandmothers and apparently I look, smell, and act like one. FML

#18444427
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29267) - you deserved it (4332)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:13pm - love - by grannygirlfriend - United States

Today, I was helping first-graders do school work when one of them stabbed me in the face with a pencil, all because I told her that a three was backwards. FML

#18396492
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26076) - you deserved it (2886)

On 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33492) - you deserved it (5165)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40578) - you deserved it (4756)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10932) - you deserved it (54099)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

#18324369
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27306) - you deserved it (4346)

On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML

#18289580
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26404) - you deserved it (5478)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

#18251877
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15771) - you deserved it (7318)

On 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm - animals - by MY CAR (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

#18167431
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22139) - you deserved it (3211)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:35pm - health - by Shelbs - United States (Texas)

Today, I got into my car after a long shift at work. When I looked in my rear view mirror, a horrifyingly evil face grinned at me from the back window. I leaped out of the car, only to be chased around by two people in clown masks. It turned out to be a prank set up by my co-workers. FML

#18112365
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26673) - you deserved it (2880)

On 10/30/2011 at 3:13pm - work - by Katrin - Norway

Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML

#18086799
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28291) - you deserved it (6184)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28993) - you deserved it (5943)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15588) - you deserved it (28087)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10820) - you deserved it (39851)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30635) - you deserved it (22433)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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