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kbball95

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kbball95
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1080
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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kbball95's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I've miserably failed a college exam. My friend had agreed to pass me answers if I needed them, since I've hardly studied this year. We were on the phone when she said, "Oh, those answers were bullshit. Serves you right, huh?" FML

#19252817
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6462) - you deserved it (59371)

On 03/10/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by Alison (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23692) - you deserved it (7493)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, while I was eating lunch at work, I practically had a panic attack because I'd forgotten to feed my Neopet. FML

#19168741
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7838) - you deserved it (29482)

On 02/26/2012 at 4:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

#19117584
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24014) - you deserved it (2424)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29546) - you deserved it (5826)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19016) - you deserved it (37899)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25785) - you deserved it (3602)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

#18697253
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22430) - you deserved it (5961)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36685) - you deserved it (5486)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

#18678605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27415) - you deserved it (7424)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45087) - you deserved it (3117)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML

#18667019
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27309) - you deserved it (6920)

On 12/31/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by thathurt (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I gave each other early Christmas gifts. I gave him a basketball signed by his favorite player, which took me forever to find. He got me diet pills. FML

#18568440
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32604) - you deserved it (3950)

On 12/21/2011 at 6:28am - love - by tarynfaye (woman) - United States

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8734) - you deserved it (68001)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7346) - you deserved it (68934)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)



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