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kbball95

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kbball95
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  • Number of visits : 698
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kbball95's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79443) - you deserved it (4475)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

#20622674
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65064) - you deserved it (8401)

On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML

#20620825
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40894) - you deserved it (1802)

On 04/25/2013 at 1:56pm - misc - by neighbour hell - Norway (Vest-Agder)

Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML

#20615372
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43585) - you deserved it (5011)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55020) - you deserved it (3081)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

#20572868
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36775) - you deserved it (3491)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML

#20568124
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38656) - you deserved it (3272)

On 03/31/2013 at 9:32am - kids - by The_Black_Jesus - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50137) - you deserved it (4406)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML

#20482739
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27516) - you deserved it (4638)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML

#20475358
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24247) - you deserved it (7025)

On 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34274) - you deserved it (16290)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML

#20193830
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3754) - you deserved it (63143)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML

#19484156
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29886) - you deserved it (1912)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by Jason199615 - United States (Missouri)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
575 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9702) - you deserved it (39874) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11092) - you deserved it (24454)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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