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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got jumped by five dudes who took my phone. On it I had naked pictures of myself. An hour later they sent the pictures to all of my contacts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16114) - you deserved it (30815)
On 09/07/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by c-mack (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6440) - you deserved it (18838)
On 09/07/2009 at 10:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48222) - you deserved it (6445)
On 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm - health - by Curt (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39683) - you deserved it (2955)
On 08/31/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by SaMike (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25306) - you deserved it (1601)
On 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by UGH (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71374) - you deserved it (3461)
On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44300) - you deserved it (9774)
On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10648) - you deserved it (30078)
On 08/21/2009 at 6:15pm - kids - by mrteacher (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, my boss was handing me a list of phone numbers to call people and terminate them from their jobs here at the company. My phone was on that list. I don't know what's worse, not realizing it was my number until I heard my voicemail or getting terminated from my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27336) - you deserved it (2542)
On 08/21/2009 at 6:12pm - work - by Cally (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28966) - you deserved it (2940)
On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States
Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69265) - you deserved it (5383)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had to give the girl I am absolutely in love with advice on how to have better sex with her boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51008) - you deserved it (7873)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by shitforchris (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45174) - you deserved it (3428)
On 08/19/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by weeks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my 15-year-old daughter asked for a ride to her boyfriend's house. It's the same house I've been driving her to for sleepovers with her friend "Kate" for two years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28132) - you deserved it (35263)
On 08/12/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my ex got dumped by his girlfriend. Seeing my opportunity I sent him a song I wrote for him about how much I still love him. He sent it on to the girl who had just dumped him claiming he had written it. They are back together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46399) - you deserved it (15005)
On 08/12/2009 at 7:18am - love - by sadsongstress (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)
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