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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4485) - you deserved it (56741)
On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I spent the entire day at the hospital and was sent home attached to an obnoxious and somewhat painful heart monitor. I felt fine and decided to go to a bonfire with a few friends. I thought everyone was being nice until I overheard the guys referring to me as an unattractive xbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19055) - you deserved it (1877)
On 11/26/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28542) - you deserved it (3009)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, my daughter learned how to write her name correctly for the first time. Only thing is, she decided to practise writing it all over my body with a sharpie while I was sleeping. Works starts in 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22905) - you deserved it (2991)
On 10/02/2009 at 9:39am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26025) - you deserved it (1139)
On 09/28/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by shield1123 - United States (Iowa)
Today, I learned that the gap between the elevator and the 6th floor landing of my apartment building is approximately one key's width wide. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31198) - you deserved it (2187)
On 09/28/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39364) - you deserved it (6048)
On 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm - kids - by Bewildered (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (87650) - you deserved it (18472)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22840) - you deserved it (99489)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I saw a couple of beetles doing it. Jealous, I quickly crushed them with my boot while screaming, "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL!" All the little kids playing on the local playground, including parents supervising them, gave me dirty, confused looks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15584) - you deserved it (84146)
On 05/06/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13232) - you deserved it (44719)
On 05/05/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to explain why we got the parts we did. He said he tried matching our characters to who we actually are. I play a whore who's a transvestite. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55028) - you deserved it (4291)
On 04/05/2009 at 3:11pm - misc - by InsideActress (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61065) - you deserved it (17305)
On 03/22/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by joshinbaltimore (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54051) - you deserved it (7181)
On 03/20/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
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