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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7134) - you deserved it (23139)
On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was at a bar in Canada and was really hitting it off with a girl. She asked how big my junk was and I told her in inches... They use centimeters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17483) - you deserved it (33196)
On 01/29/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by KD - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22477) - you deserved it (2311)
On 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22477) - you deserved it (2311)
On 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)
Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4325) - you deserved it (16752)
On 01/28/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Owned - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)
Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: “I’m keeping them just in case...”- “In case of what?”- “In case I want to dress up like an asshole”. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5432) - you deserved it (15485)
On 01/20/2009 at 9:01am - love - by dude - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was in a toilet cubicle, when I overheard two of my friends at the sink talking about how ugly and skinny I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15458) - you deserved it (1211)
On 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by Youknowwho - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to an underwear shop, and an employee recommended me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15512) - you deserved it (1456)
On 01/17/2009 at 6:31am - misc - by Pakundo - Sent from mobile version
Today, I decided to clean my room, find a job and ask a girl on a date. I ended up playing video games online. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6468) - you deserved it (28307)
On 01/16/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13162) - you deserved it (6344)
On 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by stellarshaun - United States (California)
Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6363) - you deserved it (26150)
On 01/16/2009 at 3:34am - intimacy - by horny bastard - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my 5 year old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked "mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18512) - you deserved it (1931)
On 01/12/2009 at 4:37am - kids - by Lax - Sent from mobile version
Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7982) - you deserved it (56920)
On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version
Today, and for the last 8 months my upstairs neighbours have been making a tremendous noise. I finally decided to go up to complain: "The amount of noise you make is unbelievable ! It sounds like you're driving tractors up here!". The woman replies: "My husband is paraplegic..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10465) - you deserved it (5332)
On 01/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Jared - Sent from mobile version
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31600) - you deserved it (5510)
On 12/24/2008 at 6:19am - intimacy - by sixsix - Sent from mobile version
Friday 24 May 2013
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