Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kaycee1996

Search for a member

kaycee1996

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 January 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7177
  • Number of comments : 112
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kaycee1996's page activity

Visits<b>Markovski</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 11:32pm<b>hoeslikedicks</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 11:03am<b>WastelandPaladin</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 10:59pm<b>mip_92</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:27pm<b>jeremy1993</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:12am<b>SHAMUS_the_WITTY</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 9:29pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 9:19pm<b>Phaeno</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 5:30pm<b>keliflowers96</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:54pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 11:06am<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 7:26pm<b>whoaitsrachel</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 10:25pm<b>partyartie</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 11:46pm<b>Blutak</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 4:46am<b>lord_meloetta</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 12:18pm<b>Colourize</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 11:22pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 6:06am<b>chloemedwards</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 1:14pm

kaycee1996's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of kaycee1996's badges

kaycee1996's favorite FMLs

Today, I called up the boy I like to ask him on a date. He said "Haha, thats a pretty good impression Chris. Next time pick someone less ugly and maybe I'd think this is real." He thought I was his friend prank calling him. FML

#243947
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86112) - you deserved it (4647)

On 03/08/2009 at 5:58pm - love - by Depressed (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML

#234150
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59221) - you deserved it (7544)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:36pm - love - by Kate (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML

#227802
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21185) - you deserved it (49196)

On 03/06/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by jacks_smirking_revenge (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I flew home early from a two month trip to Europe to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. When I got to his house with a home baked cake from scratch and a quilt with slik-screened pictures from my trip, his roommate answered the door and said "Oh sorry, he's out with his girlfriend." FML

#227121
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64632) - you deserved it (3598)

On 03/06/2009 at 4:07pm - love - by Muscle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my four best friends are going to Florida for spring break without me. When asked why I was not invited to go with them the answer I received was, "we don't think you would look very good in a bathing suit, and we want to be able to pick up cute guys on the beach." FML

#226392
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63462) - you deserved it (5796)

On 03/06/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received a card in the mail. It was from my vet's office. Written inside was "We send our sympathy during this trying time." I haven't been home in three days. I can't find my dog and my mother won't talk about it. My dog was 7. She hated that dog. FML

#216168
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65804) - you deserved it (2313)

On 03/05/2009 at 11:06am - animals - by nochance (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28952) - you deserved it (43316)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was in the bank with my seven year old daughter, when I saw an old high school friend of mine with his wife. I said hello, and he commented on how beautiful my little girl was. I thanked him, and as I turned away, I heard his wife say "I guess the father must be the good looking one." FML

#187755
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53324) - you deserved it (2339)

On 03/02/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by lexibabe (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

#185544
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73200) - you deserved it (15843)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57756) - you deserved it (14929)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML

#168595
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74590) - you deserved it (286239)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Sad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML

#159157
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15246) - you deserved it (59904)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by wideman (man) - United States (California)

Today, me and my girlfriend got into a fight. After giving my genius response to one of her asinine comments, I stormed out of the store, having the last word. Ten minutes later she comes out to find me in the parking lot. My car wouldn't start. She texts me "Karma's a bitch" then drives away. FML

#159138
49 comments

Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML

#152949
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103349) - you deserved it (11411)

On 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by justanaccount (woman) - Spain (Madrid)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: