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kaycee1996's FML badges
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kaycee1996's favorite FMLs
by theawesome129 / 03/24/2013 at 6:20am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy
Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 7:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 3:15pm / Italy (Calabria) / Health
Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML
by SmallAngel / 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by ldn / 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Intimacy
Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML
by Anonymous / 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, the "Child Care and Development" class at my high school assigned all 50 students to carry a fake baby around school all day for a week. I can't even read a page of my notes without hearing a robotic crying noise. Today is the first day. FML
by Headache / 03/01/2013 at 8:20am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Ugh / 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML
by DumbCuntApparently / 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my college started an internet "confessions" page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only to find that it's full of some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read. My schoolmates are either filthy as fuck or they are all pathological liars. Wonderful. FML
by panicelement / 02/27/2013 at 2:17am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by pooh anne / 02/26/2013 at 3:26pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML
by Puppylove / 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm / United Kingdom / Animals
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,…