kawaiixalice

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Offline (the 06/27/2016 at 9:00pm)

kawaiixalice

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5563
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 14 posted

About kawaiixalice : ...fuck.

kawaiixalice's page activity

Visits<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:48pm<b>nhatt</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 1:06pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:44pm<b>fish_ster</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 11:24pm<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 9:37pm<b>linkmax</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 6:44am<b>Ergayles</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 11:56am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 9:47am<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 9:43am<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 1:23am<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 12:41am<b>daydream3r</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 3:09am<b>jusgotburned</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 1:51pm<b>slim_lady</b> - the 12/30/2011 at 6:56am<b>lmc94</b> - the 10/16/2011 at 1:22am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:17pm<b>v1kt4r</b> - the 04/20/2011 at 10:26am<b>Niaa</b> - the 04/20/2011 at 4:48am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 8:44pm

kawaiixalice's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kawaiixalice's badges

kawaiixalice's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added it to his MySpace account, with the caption, "clubbin with my hoe." FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML

by jaydiv / 11/22/2009 at 4:15am / Australia (Tasmania) / Animals

Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he cried and pissed his pants. Again. FML

by not_trained_for_this / 11/18/2009 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

by anonymous / 11/16/2009 at 1:00am / Japan (Okinawa) / Kids

Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML

by neuroticallyours / 11/12/2009 at 2:11am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 4:03am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML

by anonymous / 10/27/2009 at 9:27am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, a man came up to me asking for my name. Thinking he was trying to hit on me, I rudely gave him a fake name. He thanked me and walked away. I continued to watch him leaving until I saw him ask another woman for her name and took out a wallet and showed it to her. It was my lost wallet. FML

Today, as I was driving with my boyfriend, he pointed out what a crappy car I drive. About how the locks don't work, the vents are broken, the windshield wipers are busted, my headlights aren't bright, and a hubcap is missing. Then he said I’m a good match for my car, 'cos we have the same “personality". FML

by Clunker / 10/24/2009 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML

by dudezilla / 10/13/2009 at 11:52am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

by oxjessiiox / 10/11/2009 at 11:42am / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML

by coolchicka05 / 10/06/2009 at 4:28am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals