Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kawaiixalice

Search for a member

kawaiixalice
  • Town/Country : Tucson, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 November 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 2571
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 14 posted

About kawaiixalice : ...fuck.

kawaiixalice's last visitors

fish_stersybyabrahamlinkmaxErgaylesbuckdharmaCupcake040NessieMonster188Frost013martinez121797daydream3rslim_lady

kawaiixalice's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of kawaiixalice's badges

kawaiixalice's favorite FMLs

Today, after years of thinking I was weird for never being attracted to anyone, I realized that for the first time in my life I actually have a crush on someone. That 'someone' is my English teacher. He is 60. I am 18. FML

#9127097
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25994) - you deserved it (11310)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:27am - misc - by allwrong (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22678) - you deserved it (9802)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

#8851700
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20547) - you deserved it (2191)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

#8851700
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20547) - you deserved it (2191)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States

Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML

#8791627
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16367) - you deserved it (6873)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by JoshuaRob - United States

Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML

#8106835
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16053) - you deserved it (4241)

On 02/10/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by roundemup (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my best friend became my ex-best friend. I have finally gotten over the guy she stole from me a year ago and have developed a crush on another guy. My best friend called me today to tell me that she broke up with the first guy and is now going out with my current crush. FML

#7641681
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28619) - you deserved it (3315)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:27pm - love - by Cheater_Cheater_Pumpkin_Eater - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25251) - you deserved it (3814)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML

#7380749
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55912) - you deserved it (6392)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was going to propose to me about three months ago. I was completely surprised and asked why he didn't. At that time, I had told him to stop looking at me like that and go buy me some damn tacos. I was 2 months pregnant then. Now he wants to wait a couple of years. FML

#7321646
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7701) - you deserved it (27396)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:40pm - love - by cowgurl91 - Sent from mobile version

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

#7036461
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35534) - you deserved it (4127)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML

#6971374
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28305) - you deserved it (6810)

On 12/27/2009 at 9:19am - love - by porkythighs (woman) - Singapore

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

#6945268
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14416) - you deserved it (2428)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21522) - you deserved it (9513)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I stepped outside for a smoke. It was 1 a.m. Thinking no one was around, I let out a series of loud, nasty-sounding farts. I looked over to my left to see the neighbor, whom I've never met, also smoking, and staring at me. That was his first impression of me. FML

#6915702
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8291) - you deserved it (27424)

On 12/24/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by FlGirl (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: