kawaiixalice

Search for a member

Offline (the 09/21/2016 at 9:06pm)

kawaiixalice

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6108
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 14 posted

About kawaiixalice : ...fuck.

kawaiixalice's page activity

Visits<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 5:05pm<b>AlphaPrince13</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 8:31pm<b>Chibster</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 5:00pm<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:48pm<b>nhatt</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 1:06pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:44pm<b>fish_ster</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 11:24pm<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 9:37pm<b>linkmax</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 6:44am<b>Ergayles</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 11:56am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 9:47am<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 9:43am<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 1:23am<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 12:41am<b>daydream3r</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 3:09am<b>jusgotburned</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 1:51pm<b>slim_lady</b> - the 12/30/2011 at 6:56am<b>lmc94</b> - the 10/16/2011 at 1:22am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 8:44pm

kawaiixalice's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kawaiixalice's badges

kawaiixalice's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML

by Annie / 02/24/2011 at 1:39am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

by Scaredwitless / 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

by fianceeless / 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 11:44am / Switzerland / Health

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

by ash / 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML

by Username / 12/23/2010 at 9:48am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

by Mike / 12/15/2010 at 6:57am / Work

Today, my daughter and husband decided to surprise me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumps back from the hug and says "ewwww smells like fish." FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 9:58pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML

by lorrilanee / 11/20/2010 at 1:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I woke up to two text messages from my mother. The first said, "You could've had this for breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" The next text was a picture message of her naked. I think it was meant to be sent to her boyfriend. FML

by traumatized4life / 11/04/2010 at 3:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

by tanya / 10/25/2010 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2010 at 9:42am / Reserved / Work

Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML

by anonymous / 09/18/2010 at 8:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy