About kawaiixalice : ...fuck.
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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34803) - you deserved it (3000)
On 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by fianceeless (man) - United States (California)
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27421) - you deserved it (5073) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24230) - you deserved it (10515)
On 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by ash (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58055) - you deserved it (2755)
On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27168) - you deserved it (2021)
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22752) - you deserved it (6331)
On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -
Today, my daughter and husband decided to surprise me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumps back from the hug and says "ewwww smells like fish." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32074) - you deserved it (11103)
On 12/06/2010 at 9:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24150) - you deserved it (4130)
On 11/20/2010 at 1:20am - love - by lorrilanee (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I woke up to two text messages from my mother. The first said, "You could've had this for breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" The next text was a picture message of her naked. I think it was meant to be sent to her boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28379) - you deserved it (1788)
On 11/04/2010 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by traumatized4life (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49164) - you deserved it (9961)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10142) - you deserved it (26890)
On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was called to reports of a drunk and disorderly male. I arrived to discover a drunk man having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me me and shouted 'God save the Queen'. It's then that I remembered that it's my job to do something about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23377) - you deserved it (2213)
On 10/14/2010 at 9:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Reserved
Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21696) - you deserved it (6401)
On 09/18/2010 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31529) - you deserved it (13944)
On 09/06/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35563) - you deserved it (9660)
On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)
Monday 20 May 2013
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