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kawaiixalice

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kawaiixalice
  • Town/Country : Tucson, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 November 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 2567
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 14 posted

About kawaiixalice : ...fuck.

kawaiixalice's last visitors

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kawaiixalice's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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kawaiixalice's favorite FMLs

Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get their insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML

#18091969
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11722) - you deserved it (30229)

On 10/27/2011 at 9:22pm - misc - by Benjamin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

#17584361
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32372) - you deserved it (2434)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24084) - you deserved it (4190)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26626) - you deserved it (3228)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

#17374086
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23216) - you deserved it (9179)

On 08/05/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by Fred - Japan

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

#17374086
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23216) - you deserved it (9179)

On 08/05/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by Fred - Japan

Today, I got all dressed up to go on a date with a guy. Upon getting to my house to pick me up, he told me he'd forgot to put on mascara, and asked if he could borrow some. FML

#16809094
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34193) - you deserved it (5191)

On 06/23/2011 at 12:24am - love - by wowohwow - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

#15912541
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28577) - you deserved it (10820)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

#15583575
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23483) - you deserved it (30335)

On 04/01/2011 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32490) - you deserved it (7713)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States

Today, at work, a coworker started to tell me about his weekend, without me even asking. Halfway through his story, I started to daydream and lost track of time. Bored, I told him, "Hey man, I'll call you back, I've got to get back to work." Then I remembered I wasn't on the phone. FML

#15441546
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9261) - you deserved it (31535)

On 03/22/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by PFCdavila (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

#15432254
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44747) - you deserved it (4265)

On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34819) - you deserved it (30430)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was on Facebook, looking at pictures from a party I went to. In most of them, I was sitting on the sofa, my shorts bunched to the side, with half my vajayjay on show. FML

#15381782
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18277) - you deserved it (60045)

On 03/19/2011 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML

#15252423
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37698) - you deserved it (3768)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:27pm - love - by drebel (man) - United States (Texas)



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