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Offline (the 10/20/2016 at 4:57am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6279
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 14 posted

About kawaiixalice : ...fuck.

kawaiixalice's page activity

Visits<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 5:05pm<b>AlphaPrince13</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 8:31pm<b>Chibster</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 5:00pm<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:48pm<b>nhatt</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 1:06pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:44pm<b>fish_ster</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 11:24pm<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 9:37pm<b>linkmax</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 6:44am<b>Ergayles</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 11:56am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 9:47am<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 9:43am<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 1:23am<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 12:41am<b>daydream3r</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 3:09am<b>jusgotburned</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 1:51pm<b>slim_lady</b> - the 12/30/2011 at 6:56am<b>lmc94</b> - the 10/16/2011 at 1:22am

Fucked!<b>MiaMay</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 6:02am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 8:44pm

kawaiixalice's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kawaiixalice's badges

kawaiixalice's favorite FMLs

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 11:16am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead for over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, "She looks like she's sleeping" and "She's so cold." To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name for three years. FML

by LJ / 03/12/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

by astroloser / 03/07/2009 at 11:10am / Philippines (Rizal) / Miscellaneous

Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website. The three matches that came up were Barbra Streisand, Hillary Clinton, and Boy George. I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

by oconron / 03/06/2009 at 1:09am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of no where and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says "I always knew you were a whore." FML

by Stairway2Heaven / 03/02/2009 at 4:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting my 5 year old niece, and she was really down in the dumps because she didn't get invited to a birthday party. To cheer her up, I took her to Chuck E Cheese. Right when we arrived, we walked in on a birthday party. It was the one that my niece got denied from. FML

by stpry of my life / 02/27/2009 at 5:58pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML

by FMluck / 02/26/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

by catfish / 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

by loser / 02/17/2009 at 6:33pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

by wtf / 02/02/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

by FractalSanity / 02/01/2009 at 3:11am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

by Noname / 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm / Japan (Fukuoka) / Health

Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML

by Liz / 01/09/2009 at 3:54am / Kids