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kawaiixalice

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kawaiixalice
  • Town/Country : Tucson, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 November 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 2564
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 14 posted

About kawaiixalice : ...fuck.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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kawaiixalice's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20365) - you deserved it (2551)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I tried to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I reminded him of his mother. FML

#20098216
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11675) - you deserved it (22936)

On 10/02/2012 at 10:42am - love - by Queso Dog (woman) - Japan

Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML

#20064691
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18735) - you deserved it (2326)

On 09/09/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by zed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML

#20022524
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21062) - you deserved it (7472)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm - love - by lonely. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML

#20018436
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27168) - you deserved it (3384)

On 08/13/2012 at 8:19am - intimacy - by hmmmm (woman) - Australia

Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML

#20010874
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20589) - you deserved it (1829)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:44am - intimacy - by rxcrs3 - United States

Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML

#19995451
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15751) - you deserved it (1667)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by joleezad5 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32800) - you deserved it (8324)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

#19603388
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18544) - you deserved it (1832)

On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10326) - you deserved it (29898)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

#19394334
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23824) - you deserved it (8990)

On 04/02/2012 at 10:02am - love - by IloveJapan (woman) - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

#19394334
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23824) - you deserved it (8990)

On 04/02/2012 at 10:02am - love - by IloveJapan (woman) - Japan

Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML

#18623921
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21812) - you deserved it (2549)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:15am - health - by themuffinman (man) - Japan

Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book is written by a 9-year-old kid. FML

#18154487
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26848) - you deserved it (5991)

On 11/04/2011 at 2:57am - love - by foreverashamed - Canada



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