Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kawaiixalice

Search for a member

kawaiixalice

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4043
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 14 posted

About kawaiixalice : ...fuck.

kawaiixalice's page activity

Visits<b>fish_ster</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 11:24pm<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 9:37pm<b>linkmax</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 6:44am<b>Ergayles</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 11:56am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 9:47am<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 9:43am<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 1:23am<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 12:41am<b>daydream3r</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 3:09am<b>jusgotburned</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 1:51pm<b>slim_lady</b> - the 12/30/2011 at 6:56am<b>lmc94</b> - the 10/16/2011 at 1:22am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:17pm<b>v1kt4r</b> - the 04/20/2011 at 10:26am<b>Niaa</b> - the 04/20/2011 at 4:48am<b>cristinaa_</b> - the 09/13/2010 at 5:40pm<b>love_me_electric</b> - the 08/18/2010 at 11:34pm<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 08/18/2010 at 7:38pm

kawaiixalice's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of kawaiixalice's badges

kawaiixalice's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37012) - you deserved it (14781)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I watchd mah father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He trid to play it cool, said, "Haircuts r too expensive these days anyway." and walkd out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. big fat FML

Today, I had to pee during a supervisd lockdown. I askd teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking 4 someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including principal. FML

#20996748
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44280) - you deserved it (4723)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:56am - misc - by Anon - United States (California)

today the extremely uncooperative clienthom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter inhich he threatened to sue me, cuz charging him for mah services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46694) - you deserved it (3586)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, boss told me to go outside and take part in te company's stupid Harlem Sake video. Wen I declined, e treatened to fre me if I didn't take part. I ended up bieng te guy wo ad to furiously pelvic trust before te music dropped. FML

#20518411
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36296) - you deserved it (6156)

On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside!! Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see mah dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard!! He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma!! FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (6008)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I discovered the true meaning of bieng scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needles to say something emerged from me. mega FML

TODAY, I WAS CLEANING ONE OF MAH DISABLED CLIENTS BECAUSE HE POOPED HIMSELF, SO I STARTED TO UNDRESS HIM FIR A SHOWER. I TOOK HIS DIRTY DIAPER OFF AND SET IT ON HIS BED, THEN I BENT OVER TO TAKE OFF HIS SOCKS AT WHICH POINT HE PUT THE DIAPER ON MAH HEAD LYK A HAT. FML

#20438439
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51190) - you deserved it (4734)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, mah husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs fir women. When I asked them wat they were for, he said he wanted to spice up looool our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML

#20438198
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40543) - you deserved it (6248)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today hile buying paint I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told mehat a nice young lady I was. Then her boss cummed over screamed at her fir being lazy and fred her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45533) - you deserved it (2858)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, After Having Sex For The First Time With Mah Girlfriend, I Realisd I Was In Love With Her!! I Noticd She Had An Eyelash On Her Breast!! After Tugging It A Few Times I Realisd It Was Actually A Single Black Nipple Hair!! She Was So Embarrassd, She Kickd Me Out And Now Won't Return Mah Calls!! Big Fat FML

#20426821
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32725) - you deserved it (25256)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today , tha highly intoxicatd singar of mah band dacidd it would ba a wondarful idaa to squat down and taka a shit on staga in tha middla of a gig!! FML

#20408486
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37178) - you deserved it (4281)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, A Friend Informd Me Tat Ma Dog's Name Means "penis" In Greek. I Live In A Predominantly Greek Neigbourood, And Apparently I've Been Screaming Fir "dong" Every Evening Fir Te Past 3 Years. No Wonder Tey Don't Talk To Me Muc. FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30169) - you deserved it (8608)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got into a fight with grlfriend. After yelling and arguing point, cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21720) - you deserved it (3869)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, MY BOYFRIEND DUMPED ME BY TROWING MY STUFF OUT OF IS PLACE, AND ACCUSING ME OF CEATINGILE YELLING, ( CEATER, CEATER! PUMPKIN EATER! ) WEN I TRIED EXPLAINING TAT I AVE NO CLUEAT E'S TALKING ABOUT, E STARTED EXCLAIMING, ( LIAR, LIAR! PANTS ON FIRE! ) FML

#20180296
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24764) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: