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About kawaiixalice : ...fuck.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5570) - you deserved it (501)
On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3297) - you deserved it (10699)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States
Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book is written by a 9-year-old kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (4498)
Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get their insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your f*cking car and get the f*ck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9747) - you deserved it (21918)
On 10/27/2011 at 9:22pm - misc - by Benjamin - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21820) - you deserved it (3846)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20833) - you deserved it (2198)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had a dream I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25035) - you deserved it (8627)
On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20584) - you deserved it (22996)
On 04/01/2011 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30319) - you deserved it (7426)
On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States
Today, at work, a coworker started to tell me about his weekend, without me even asking. Halfway through his story, I started to daydream and lost track of time. Bored, I told him, "Hey man, I'll call you back, I've got to get back to work." Then I remembered I wasn't on the phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8714) - you deserved it (29608)
On 03/22/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by PFCdavila (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39329) - you deserved it (3340)
On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27638) - you deserved it (23810)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, I was on Facebook, looking at pictures from a party I went to. In most of them, I was sitting on the sofa, my shorts bunched to the side, with half my vajayjay on show. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15055) - you deserved it (45842)
On 03/19/2011 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34265) - you deserved it (3115)
On 03/09/2011 at 5:27pm - love - by drebel (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34372) - you deserved it (2974)
On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -
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