About katty2229 : I am awesome
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katty2229's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/08/2011 at 8:15pm / United States (California) / Geek
Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML
by anon / 03/05/2011 at 5:15am / United States (California) / Health
by moweezy9 / 02/21/2011 at 4:07pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
by :/ / 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
by Anonymous / 02/18/2011 at 2:35am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by Lovenem / 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by acab93 / 02/10/2011 at 5:37pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anon. / 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm / United Kingdom (Bradford) / Intimacy
by Youdontneed2knowmyname / 02/05/2011 at 12:29am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML
Today, I accidentally drank my sister's science project. Her science project consisted of taking a glass of orange juice and putting maggots in it to see if they would live. I thought it was just pulp. FML
by Username / 02/02/2011 at 11:46pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML
by JordanVilleneuve / 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This… Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down… Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him,…