Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About katty2229 : I am awesome
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today while at the bakery section of local supermarket I hered the beat of wat I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it and bobbed head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML
Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on face, an I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friendho was waiting 4 her, "The sink's broken. Can I use yur hand sanitizer?" Sohat landed on face? FML
Today... I had mah buddies over fir a few beers and... trying to be cool... I told mah wife to get out of the living room an back in the kitchen. I felt smug... right up until she said... "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over fir another 20 minutes... dick." FML
Taday instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute , mah girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of mah mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except 4 this morning there were two piles. FML
Today , I accidentally drank my sister's science project . Her science project consistd of taking a glass of orange juice an putting maggots in it to see if they would live . I thought it was just pulp . FML
Friday 27 March 2015