About katty2229 : I am awesome
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9229) - you deserved it (28216)
On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26884) - you deserved it (5554)
On 03/08/2011 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML
I agree, your life sucks (31195) - you deserved it (2063)
On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)
Today, I finally taught my mom how to text message people. Now I get a message from her every 30 seconds saying "Hi". FML
I agree, your life sucks (20336) - you deserved it (11865)
On 02/21/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by moweezy9 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5534) - you deserved it (83511)
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33466) - you deserved it (3382)
On 02/18/2011 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39691) - you deserved it (5056)
On 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Lovenem (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely different animal. I'm eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5663) - you deserved it (43237)
On 02/10/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by acab93 - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44750) - you deserved it (5780)
On 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)
Today, I was so bored I began practicing an irish jig. For two hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7510) - you deserved it (16347)
On 02/05/2011 at 12:29am - misc - by Youdontneed2knowmyname - United States (California)
Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58713) - you deserved it (4910)
On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -
Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23186) - you deserved it (4336)
On 02/04/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by unknown -
Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22767) - you deserved it (4590)
On 02/03/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous -
Today, I accidentally drank my sister's science project. Her science project consisted of taking a glass of orange juice and putting maggots in it to see if they would live. I thought it was just pulp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30916) - you deserved it (16730)
On 02/02/2011 at 11:46pm - misc - by Username -
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15579) - you deserved it (51445)
On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -
Monday 20 May 2013
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