About katty2229 : I am awesome
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katty2229's favorite FMLs
by Now Single / 04/03/2011 at 4:06am / Reserved / Intimacy
by Toothy / 04/02/2011 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML
by WTF? / 04/01/2011 at 11:55am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by Johntheladdo / 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
by -_- / 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML
by Angel1000168 / 03/27/2011 at 4:37am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML
by Thatslife / 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Intimacy
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML
by radicaloser / 03/25/2011 at 4:50am / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, I went to the hospital as my girlfriends emergency contact. When I saw her, she was under a blanket because she had no pants. She had a seizure in a guy's bed and he brought her here. He's here and she wants us both to stay. FML
Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML
by Fcuked / 03/23/2011 at 12:40am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek
Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML
by nosleeptilpissoff / 03/18/2011 at 11:54am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my cell phone there and had got a text from a guy saying "Hi, how have you been?" FML
Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
- Today, it’s been a week since I arrived in Cuba. Gustav came to visit us. Now it’s Hannah’s turn.… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he…