About katty2229 : I am awesome
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katty2229's favorite FMLs
Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML
by ninalian / 05/22/2011 at 2:30am / United States (Puerto Rico) / Health
Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML
by squirrels69ing / 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
by aridaley / 05/21/2011 at 7:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by btswc / 05/21/2011 at 3:18am / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML
by Anonymous / 05/21/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Utah) / Transportation
Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML
by SophieGray / 05/20/2011 at 7:33pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML
by lionhead14 / 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation
Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML
by levi69 / 05/18/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
by Jackedup / 05/18/2011 at 3:57am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Bobby M / 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Health
Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML
by DMitch / 05/15/2011 at 3:29pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by Clueless / 05/14/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Uhmm... / 05/13/2011 at 7:06pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by vaalcrawford / 05/11/2011 at 12:59am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…