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A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37312) - you deserved it (2155)
On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50087) - you deserved it (2940)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:28am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43789) - you deserved it (2771)
On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom
Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32373) - you deserved it (24017)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by sugarysofalof - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (49485) - you deserved it (8242)
On 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm - love - by lsababy (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to get an HPV vaccine after being convinced to by my mom. I stayed in the waiting room afterwards, because the vaccine has the possible side-effect of causing fainting. I didn't faint; instead, I spent the next 15 minutes giggling uncontrollably like a psycho. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37625) - you deserved it (4448)
On 06/11/2013 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49977) - you deserved it (13597)
On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50282) - you deserved it (3970)
On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48633) - you deserved it (3737)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39660) - you deserved it (3950)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42116) - you deserved it (8027)
On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44064) - you deserved it (4523)
On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada
Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18096) - you deserved it (41981)
On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47009) - you deserved it (3565)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by immovingout (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML
I agree, your life sucks (66010) - you deserved it (8434)
On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -
Monday 17 June 2013
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