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A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40697) - you deserved it (3054)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37430) - you deserved it (3870)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41561) - you deserved it (8000)
On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43378) - you deserved it (4508)
On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada
Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17588) - you deserved it (41207)
On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46583) - you deserved it (3554)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by immovingout (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML
I agree, your life sucks (65102) - you deserved it (8404)
On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51798) - you deserved it (10775)
On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States
Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39328) - you deserved it (5011)
On 04/24/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37782) - you deserved it (10792)
On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I tried to explain to my history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office for my insubordination. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32408) - you deserved it (3529)
On 04/18/2013 at 3:54am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48696) - you deserved it (3779)
On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by wut... (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was dying my hair a subtly different color. It was only supposed to turn my hair a shade or two lighter, but it seems someone at the store thought it would be funny to switch the dye in the boxes around. My hair is purple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39892) - you deserved it (6775)
On 04/15/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by chrissy2 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38600) - you deserved it (3164)
On 04/13/2013 at 7:49pm - misc - by typical - United States (Connecticut)
Today, at school, I saw the guy I like at his locker. I decided to run up from behind and surprise him. I ended up accidentally slamming his locker on his fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34998) - you deserved it (18611)
On 04/13/2013 at 11:52am - love - by saxophone911 - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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