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katequinn's favorite FMLs
by SmittyJA24 / 05/19/2014 at 10:38pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
by Jarool / 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Lookalike / 05/12/2014 at 10:38am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML
by Gone With the Wind / 05/11/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love
Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML
by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, was my first day of work in my life. I was excited, and so was my dad, who saw me to the door and ruffled my hair as he wished me luck. I didn't notice until half an hour after arriving at work that he'd stuck his gum in my hair. Nobody bothered to tell me. FML
by sheisselluv / 05/11/2014 at 4:30pm / Germany (Thuringen) / Work
Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML
by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 3:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Makeitdance / 05/11/2014 at 10:46am / United States (California) / Work
Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML
by ktmla / 05/11/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 12:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my 5-year-old nephew to clean up his mess of toys. He responded by kicking my foot. My bandaged foot which was still recovering from my surgery last week. I'm probably going to need another operation to fix the damage. FML
by scotsgal / 01/05/2014 at 12:11am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I've had my tenth "Christmas" dinner since Christmas last took place. My mum has gone nuts and keeps playing Christmas music, making these dinners, and refusing to let me take down the Christmas decorations. My dad is too whipped to save us from this hell. FML
by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 4:31pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous
Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML
by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 1:10am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
- Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's… Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms… Today, my husband spent our entire anniversary sulking because I wasn't up for sex. I gave birth to…