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karmynashley's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
karmynashley's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to a small fire on my roof, burning up small twigs and branches. The cause? Last night, I threw a sparkling firecracker up very high, only to have it blown onto my roof by the wind. It's going to take $2,000 to fix the damage. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 1:23pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 5:30am / United States (Kansas) / Health
by why? / 01/01/2013 at 12:41am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by _The__Doctor_ / 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by anon / 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML
by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 10:44am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 6:16am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML
by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 2:58am / United States / Work
Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML
by BAMN2187 / 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 6:58pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 1:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
by nose hurts / 12/29/2012 at 8:01pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by killme / 12/29/2012 at 5:33pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…
- Today, I visited my parents with my four year old. My son started to excitedly tell his grandmother… Today, I was fired for calling in sick, I've never missed a day of work before this and I've never… Today, I discovered our dog anxiety-sharts in his sleep. I found this out after a couple nights of…