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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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karmak

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karmak
  • Town/Country : hangzhou, china
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 August 1984 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 278
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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karmak's FML badges

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karmak's favorite FMLs

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML

#5799559 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (3209)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I rear end a car on the parkway. We pull over, he tells me his car is fine and then askes me out on a date. It was only when I replied "no" that he decided he wanted his car fixed. FML

#5759599 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (20911) - you deserved it (12189)

On 10/10/2009 at 3:16pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was babysitting my niece when we decided to play hide and seek. I went in the shed, and waited. After waiting a while, I went to go back inside to see what was happening. I saw my niece had locked all the doors and was eating cookies on the kitchen bench. FML

#5699135 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (8345) - you deserved it (24745)

On 10/07/2009 at 6:42am - kids - by vbscb (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

#5579906 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (32695) - you deserved it (2219)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I realized that 6 months ago I signed up for a 3 day trial for a porn website that turns into a $30 membership after 3 days. I completely forgot the day after and never viewed it. I've spent $180 so far. And I can't remember my password. FML

#5573814 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (5844) - you deserved it (43288)

On 09/30/2009 at 9:22pm - money - by GetMoney (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after a month of searching, I found a perfect apartment which I rented out for the next few months. The rent was inexpensive and the place was close to my job. Turns out, my 'perfect' new apartment overlooks a nudist community. FML

#5565061 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (10001) - you deserved it (23165)

On 09/30/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by explodingpupppet (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that if you're going to tell your mother you are gay, make sure she isn't holding a frying pan filled with hot grease. FML

#5530332 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (46178) - you deserved it (9814)

On 09/28/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML

#5519699 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (37406) - you deserved it (2685)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

#5407615 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (29423) - you deserved it (11008)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I parked my truck next to a rather large SUV at school, went to class for 8 hours straight, came back and found my passenger side door crumpled from where they had backed out and hit it. They left a note on my window that said, "Sorry about your truck, but I don't have insurance." FML

#5393176 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (30704) - you deserved it (1461)

On 09/21/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got a new cell phone. I was unable to retrieve my old contact list from my old phone, so I sent out a mass email asking my friends to "Give me your contact info, unless you don't want me to text/call you!" No one is responding. FML

#5390873 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (24300) - you deserved it (8080)

On 09/21/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 0.50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML

#5387856 (337)

I agree, your life sucks (6569) - you deserved it (69592)

On 09/21/2009 at 2:06am - love - by FreeOfCharge (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my whole family thinks my girlfriend is imaginary. I sent her a text in front of them telling her that. She never responded. FML

#5386120 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (34543) - you deserved it (4006)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:16am - love - by Imaginary girlfriend - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said "you're welcome" and now they're going out. FML

#5385782 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (17425) - you deserved it (28112)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:02am - love - by anonymouss (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my best friend, the man who I've been in love with for nine years, finally told me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Unfortunately, it was while he was using me to practice proposing to his girlfriend. FML

#5269441 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (40151) - you deserved it (5841)

On 09/15/2009 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)