About kaprookie : Unicorns, skittles, colours and guitars.
My four favouritest things in the world.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83020) - you deserved it (3339)
On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41399) - you deserved it (1966)
On 07/16/2009 at 7:39pm - misc - by search_me (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47938) - you deserved it (6493)
On 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by waxinghorror (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37804) - you deserved it (4603)
On 07/11/2009 at 5:10am - work - by grannysmack (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I went with my sister to get our eyebrows waxed. I didn't think my eyebrows were that bad--and they weren't! When the guy waxed my eyebrows, he gestured my lips and said, "Moustache, too?" Mortified, I said, "No!" to which he replied, "Aw, someone no get kissy tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34473) - you deserved it (6917)
On 07/11/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by RR (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60280) - you deserved it (5298)
On 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm - kids - by dad (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8263) - you deserved it (45162)
On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8263) - you deserved it (45162)
On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44473) - you deserved it (3158)
On 06/17/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44473) - you deserved it (3158)
On 06/17/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97284) - you deserved it (56321)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (62258) - you deserved it (20226)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39903) - you deserved it (16864)
On 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by duuuuude (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out hes my cousin: priceless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (148677) - you deserved it (46710)
On 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, a 7 year old girl came up to me and told me to fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to fuck myself as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (193530) - you deserved it (18050)
On 03/30/2009 at 1:06am - kids - by Wmsys32pr9 (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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