This member hasn't filled in the description.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (307819) - you deserved it (40985)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (462042) - you deserved it (573963)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69839) - you deserved it (6279)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by missy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I forgot my cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22543) - you deserved it (46586)
On 03/07/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by GrLifeusx (man) - United States (New York)
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (389778) - you deserved it (29781)
On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (205631) - you deserved it (44853)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (54165) - you deserved it (5261)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20312) - you deserved it (48477)
On 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm - intimacy - by dirtyhands (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my religious girlfriend of 8 months finally lets me have sex with her. She invites me over, and just when we are about to do it, her dad comes home from work 3 hours early. She said it is a sign from God that we have to wait. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56264) - you deserved it (16192)
On 02/15/2009 at 6:49pm - intimacy - by naynay007 (man) - United States
Today, my boss asked me to pick up an extra shift. I said I couldn't because I have a date. He told me I didn't need to lie and to just say no next time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29209) - you deserved it (1760)
On 02/10/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by Flavorite (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55044) - you deserved it (6688)
On 02/08/2009 at 7:37am - misc - by DC (man) - United States (California)
Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15707) - you deserved it (3952)
On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version
Today, while I was looking for a file on my boyfriend's hard drive, I came across photos of a half-naked woman wearing my clothes, but whose head wasn't really visible. When I demanded an explanation, I realised that it wasn't another girl - it was him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22659) - you deserved it (1918)
On 12/23/2008 at 11:11pm - love - by Lililaloose - Sent from mobile version
Today, my philosophy teacher asked me about my parents. I replied that my mum was a cleaner and my dad was a bus driver. In an astonished voice, she said, "But, you're clever..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22988) - you deserved it (1225)
On 12/02/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by lamb-chop - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
