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kappaaa's favorite FMLs
by pathetic / 08/20/2010 at 5:51am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML
by captainocd / 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by divorced / 08/19/2010 at 6:01am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, I asked my mother why she had me in the first place, as we never get along. She replied because my father wanted me. So, I called my father to ask him the same question, he said he only wanted to have me to keep my mother around, and that didn't work, so I was a waste. FML
by Anonymous / 08/12/2010 at 12:00am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML
by Broken / 08/03/2010 at 8:11am / United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi) / Love
Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML
by pandaboo / 07/29/2010 at 1:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by draegoncode / 07/26/2010 at 12:34am / Intimacy
by one_BAMF / 07/25/2010 at 1:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by knock_out / 07/15/2010 at 9:12pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/23/2010 at 1:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
by Cheese4men / 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML
by pizzafaceinc / 03/01/2010 at 9:24pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by be_so_slick_56 / 01/16/2010 at 12:51pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML
by Dontworryaboutit / 12/28/2009 at 5:16am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I had a friend over. We found my older brother's camera so decided to look through his photos but then we came across photos of him and his girlfriend having sex. We were laughing up until my friend decided to point out that they were having sex on my bed. FML
by badbed / 12/11/2009 at 12:07pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…