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kappaaa's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by blah blah daddy / 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Kids
by caughtorangehanded / 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML
by Anonymous / 09/28/2010 at 10:09pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy
Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML
by embaressed / 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/18/2010 at 8:36pm / Austria (Tirol) / Money
Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML
by tickyette / 09/14/2010 at 3:27am / United States / Love
Today, I met a new guy at work who would not stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me he was her husband. FML
by lifeguardlechery / 09/14/2010 at 12:15am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by dmvsucks / 09/13/2010 at 11:14am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by GonnaBeLonley2night / 09/13/2010 at 9:24am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
by vikinggirl / 09/13/2010 at 5:14am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
Today, I was recovering from an operation. After I felt better, I checked my phone. There were 35 missed calls and angry text messages from my boyfriend asking why I wasn't at his house to cook his dinner. FML
by mrsfantastic / 09/12/2010 at 10:02am / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I found out why I had been waking up feeling like crap for the past week. I found tufts of cat fur in my pillow case, and I am allergic to cats. My little brother thought I would get so sick, and he could have my XBox. FML
by fuzzy1895 / 09/11/2010 at 1:31am / United States (Nebraska) / Health
- Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room.… Today, my fiancée called off our wedding, because she found out I had sex with another woman. Three… Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and…