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kapippenger

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kapippenger
  • Town/Country : Only town, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 November 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 895
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About kapippenger : What's with all of the tight wads on FML? Take a joke.

kapippenger's last visitors

ilovemonkeybuttsTarkingtonGirl22MalloryEmeepmerpLil_pinkFuckMyLife_NinjaFall3nAngel

kapippenger's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

kapippenger's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed I'd mislaid one half of the "Monday" pair of socks from my "days of the week" set that were a gift for my birthday. I'm slightly OCD. I think I'm going to rip the floorboards up if I don't find it. FML

#18449998
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19963) - you deserved it (8881)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by socks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried to buy a bottle of wine from the supermarket. The scrawny, acne-ridden kid at the checkout asked to see my ID. I didn't have any on me, since I'm 37 years old and didn't expect to be asked stupid questions. I complained to his manager, only to be asked to leave. FML

#18338380
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11671) - you deserved it (45493)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:19pm - misc - by Andrew - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

#17789200
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25915) - you deserved it (34496) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/20/2011 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by Prinpette - France

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53215) - you deserved it (5251)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was so starved of human contact that I almost took up a transsexual hooker's offer of a "good time." Nothing wrong with that really, but they looked like a haunted tree dressed as Liza Minnelli. FML

#17675561
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9496) - you deserved it (18704)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by Username (man) - United States (California)

Today, during our wedding, my wife tried to dodge The Kiss. FML

#17525336
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47972) - you deserved it (3452)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29709) - you deserved it (3314)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

#17176050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24455) - you deserved it (5695)

On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend his shirt and pants did not match and that he should change for dinner. All my belongings are now on the sidewalk. FML

#17089310
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (36093)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:40am - love - by whyme - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66635) - you deserved it (6939)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

#17004643
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37402) - you deserved it (10104)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the 2 loud "firework booms" I heard were actually a guy shooting his dog on the unfinished road behind my house. FML

#16970335
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35447) - you deserved it (2450)

On 07/04/2011 at 5:11am - animals - by oopsies - United States

Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, bacon, sausages, fresh bread, croissants, brownies, donuts, fruit smoothie, coffee, tea and orange juice. Too bad no one bothered wake me up. FML

#16969681
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32384) - you deserved it (9111)

On 07/04/2011 at 3:27am - misc - by Gustav Fjorder - Switzerland

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to spice up our sex life, so we went and had sex in the park. We had 30 minutes of "spice", just to spend seven hours in jail. FML

#16954796
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11709) - you deserved it (40936)

On 07/02/2011 at 11:01pm - intimacy - by T-Guy (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I'm a graduate but still an unpaid intern. My daily work is folding letters and putting them into envelopes. The sad thing is, I actually enjoy doing it. FML

#16805369
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19929) - you deserved it (6904)

On 06/22/2011 at 8:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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