Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kapay

Search for a member

kapay
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 21892
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kapay's last visitors

FreezelpmxxoTHAThappenedtoMEPsycoJester

kapay's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

kapay's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML

#5375758
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46484) - you deserved it (7007)

On 09/20/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by LovesHisHand (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching The Omen with my father. A little bit into the movie my dad turned to me and said, "Wow, you really looked like that Damien kid when you were little." Apparently I strangely resemble the anti-christ, and I am a teenage girl. Thanks Dad. FML

#5373762
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29161) - you deserved it (3928)

On 09/20/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I didn't fight some guy that started hitting her right in front of me... In a dream. She was totally serious. FML

#5369029
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55563) - you deserved it (3329)

On 09/20/2009 at 9:21am - love - by dreamdude (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my friend called saying she was gathering all her girlfriends for a girl's night out. I was thrilled with the idea and started to think of something to wear. She then asked if I would mind watching her son. FML

#5368746
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36153) - you deserved it (2251)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Finesse7791 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML

#5354968
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63529) - you deserved it (2839)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by weddingcrashed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was my birthday. I asked for a camera - nothing fancy, just a basic digital camera. My mother bought my brother a fancy digital camera, with all the accessories, for over £200. She then gave me his old, analogue camera, that I can't get film for anymore. He hates taking photos. FML

#5352891
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38662) - you deserved it (2467)

On 09/19/2009 at 3:05pm - misc - by unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, my unemployed boyfriend and I went to the casino. I gave him twenty dollars to play on. He won $1000 on a dollar machine then jackpotted the ten dollar machine for $20,000. When we got home he broke up with me. I have been working two jobs to get our own place. Move in Date?? 2 weeks. FML

#5351230
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41112) - you deserved it (4345)

On 09/19/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that I had my first born child. It's a boy. I found out on facebook. FML

#5347133
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43072) - you deserved it (13372)

On 09/19/2009 at 4:47am - misc - by josh (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like to a skating rink. On the ride home she put her arm around me. Her armpits stank and I smelt them the whole hour and a half drive. FML

#5345954
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34809) - you deserved it (8547)

On 09/19/2009 at 2:35am - love - by sensativenose (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML

#5345051
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31825) - you deserved it (30902)

On 09/19/2009 at 1:22am - love - by Pierceew (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom about the couple times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML

#5343889
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32048) - you deserved it (5506)

On 09/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by 1357katie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got really annoyed waiting for a bus that was supposed to come every 10 minutes. After a few minutes of waiting, I realized the "bus stop" was really a no parking sign. FML

#5338009
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6027) - you deserved it (43025)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by signinept (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work and my mother texted me. The text read, "You take a nice picture." To which I responded, "what picture?" I then got a reply saying, "The one on your speeding ticket showing you going 73 in a 55 mph zone. You are even smiling." FML

#5337998
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7975) - you deserved it (38112)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by asdfas (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML

#5337974
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41064) - you deserved it (5978)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:27pm - love - by luvizwar (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: