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kapay
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  • Number of visits : 21877
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kapay's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

#5515193
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45052) - you deserved it (4449)

On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when a little guy walked up and flirted with her. I'm a pretty weak guy and he looked weaker, so I gave him a little push and said "Back off". He's actually not weak at all. I've got a black eye and a girlfriend who won't stop laughing to prove it. FML

#5506642
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11075) - you deserved it (33114)

On 09/27/2009 at 2:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML

#5505995
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46806) - you deserved it (1995)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by stalker (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, was my bachelor party. The only people that showed up were my best man and my father. FML

#5485912
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36369) - you deserved it (3032)

On 09/26/2009 at 2:15pm - misc - by bachelor (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it is my three-year-anniversary with my boyfriend. I asked if he had planned anything for us, and he said yes. My parents volunteered to watch our daughter, I got all excited, and apparently our "plans" are to watch a football game. What do I get to do? Make sandwiches. For him. FML

#5484515
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29571) - you deserved it (7265)

On 09/26/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Amberizzle (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

#5482819
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28230) - you deserved it (2226)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after the most stressful two weeks of my life, I finally found a few minutes to sit down with a relaxing cup of tea. I went to take a sip, sneezed, smashed the mug into my nose, and dumped scalding hot tea all over my face and cleavage. FML

#5481614
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31405) - you deserved it (3760)

On 09/26/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by pygmalion (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I called my boss to let her know that I was suffering from severe depression and that my doctor suggested I take a month's leave. Her response: "Glad you are getting help, however we can't hold your job. No need to come to the office, we'll mail your stuff to you." FML

#5480161
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28685) - you deserved it (4327)

On 09/26/2009 at 3:01am - work - by zawbentley - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my football team played in a game against our rival school that was just a few blocks away. We hadn't lost the game in exactly 49 years, we were playing for the 50th year win. We lost 63-0, and got booed off the field by our own crowd. FML

#5478797
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15387) - you deserved it (29578)

On 09/26/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Fmycar - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML

#5477011
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23136) - you deserved it (15267)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:47pm - health - by snottyface (woman) - United States

Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML

#5476343
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37910) - you deserved it (2818)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid and my husband says "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML

#5461426
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33018) - you deserved it (10189)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:24am - love - by WOWreally (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML

#5448265
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34656) - you deserved it (2805)

On 09/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by badcook (woman) - United States

Today, I was offered to attend a Buddhist ceremony by one of my regular customers. Not wanting to offend the couple, I made an excuse about have a project for oceanography. Surprise, the husband is an oceanographer and wants to help me with my imaginary project. Karma much? FML

#5443877
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8325) - you deserved it (42596)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - work - by whatproject (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my fitness trainer husband told me that if I could not make the commitment to stay thin, he could not make the commitment to stay with me. FML

#5423038
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37207) - you deserved it (13122)

On 09/23/2009 at 2:47am - love - by fatty (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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