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kaitlindarby

Offline (the 06/08/2014 at 5:32pm) | Search for a member

kaitlindarby

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 264
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kaitlindarby : Hi, I'm really good at not knowing what I'm talking about.

kaitlindarby's page activity

Visits<b>AJ_27_13</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 2:37pm<b>monsterpoop</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 9:18am<b>damianw97</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 2:18pm<b>bigboi1992</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 7:27pm<b>ShadowSneaker360</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 7:23am<b>shadow292627</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 1:23pm<b>jeronimo75</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:00am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 1:41am<b>spn726</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 10:23pm<b>jizzwold</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 7:17pm<b>rach0545</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 9:14pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 3:49pm<b>cactusdesu</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 8:45pm<b>fancypotato</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 8:14pm<b>elbrowntown21</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 5:02pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 12:09am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 9:24am<b>HKCgrimmjow</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 1:28am

kaitlindarby's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of kaitlindarby's badges

kaitlindarby's favorite FMLs

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43251) - you deserved it (5249)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48113) - you deserved it (16219)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

#20848780
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52609) - you deserved it (3829)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53378) - you deserved it (8503)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML

#20801253
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44113) - you deserved it (2934)

On 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm - kids - by ouch - United States (Virginia)

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

#20790784
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38592) - you deserved it (10499)

On 07/18/2013 at 4:53pm - health - by broken finger (man) - United States

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

#20788974
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54200) - you deserved it (16890)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by WasntMe - United States

Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML

#20583566
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36451) - you deserved it (16905)

On 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by birdiebeth13 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML

#20572732
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38488) - you deserved it (13253)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:48am - love - by kenabrookee - United States (California)

Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

#20559101
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33149) - you deserved it (5809)

On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)

Today, feeling very distant to my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML

#20196447
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5128) - you deserved it (54050)

On 12/08/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

#19992743
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19450) - you deserved it (3997)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm - animals - by soph511 (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML

#19626087
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25471) - you deserved it (2356)

On 05/15/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by uni life (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

#19613905
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20327) - you deserved it (3594)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Andy (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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