kaitlindarby

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Offline (the 05/31/2015 at 8:04pm)

kaitlindarby

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 648
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kaitlindarby : heyo

kaitlindarby's page activity

Visits<b>rach0545</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 7:37am<b>MichaelDeSanta</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 12:21am<b>AJ_27_13</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 2:37pm<b>monsterpoop</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 9:18am<b>damianw97</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 2:18pm<b>bigboi1992</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 7:27pm<b>ShadowSneaker360</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 7:23am<b>shadow292627</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 1:23pm<b>jeronimo75</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:00am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 1:41am<b>spn726</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 10:23pm<b>jizzwold</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 7:17pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 3:49pm<b>cactusdesu</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 8:45pm<b>fancypotato</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 8:14pm<b>elbrowntown21</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 5:02pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 12:09am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 9:24am

kaitlindarby's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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kaitlindarby's favorite FMLs

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

by DisgustinglyFrustrated / 10/10/2013 at 11:40am / Argentina (Santa Fe) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

by Embarrassed / 08/22/2013 at 12:40am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy

Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML

by ouch / 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

by broken finger / 07/18/2013 at 4:53pm / United States / Health

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

by WasntMe / 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm / United States / Kids

Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML

by birdiebeth13 / 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML

by kenabrookee / 04/03/2013 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

by PrayingForMoney / 03/25/2013 at 4:48am / United States (California) / Money

Today, feeling very distant to my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2012 at 2:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

by Just_Me_88 / 08/18/2012 at 1:09am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

by soph511 / 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Animals

Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML

by uni life / 05/15/2012 at 4:08am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

by Andy / 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous