Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kait11

Search for a member

kait11

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2131
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kait11 : College student studying criminal justice and psychology-
Work with autistic people
Long brown hair~blue eyes~five foot three and a half inches tall.
Love meeting new people, message me if you want to know more

kait11's page activity

Visits<b>IsaacAmpora</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 8:49pm<b>angelicdevil</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 2:47am<b>Tyler008</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 8:39pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 7:41am<b>foog19</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 12:00pm<b>ripjawed</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 5:05am<b>colombiatti</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 2:42am<b>ihatemyschool</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 2:39pm<b>nevertellme</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 4:48pm<b>arsenicalhumor</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 7:44am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:00am<b>NordicPride89</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 11:20pm<b>hamburgerjung</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 6:45pm<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 1:11am<b>QU33NOFAWKWARD</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 10:41pm<b>specialist8404</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 6:13pm<b>JCBeast</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 10:44am<b>BFons</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 8:08pm

kait11's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kait11's badges

kait11's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16862) - you deserved it (54619)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54748) - you deserved it (14391)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML

#20533458
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29340) - you deserved it (3652)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm - work - by SlothyMolly - United States

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40915) - you deserved it (3851)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28432) - you deserved it (5991)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36221) - you deserved it (8075)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39909) - you deserved it (3066)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
172 comments

Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML

#20496769
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39522) - you deserved it (2419)

On 02/07/2013 at 4:51am - misc - by fviz (woman) - United States

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27618) - you deserved it (3197)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

#20491836
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11230) - you deserved it (28739)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36837) - you deserved it (2411)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

#20481357
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27043) - you deserved it (2066)

On 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by dynah114 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37214) - you deserved it (5432)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: