Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kait11

Search for a member

kait11

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1857
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kait11 : College student studying criminal justice and psychology-
Work with autistic people
Long brown hair~blue eyes~five foot three and a half inches tall.
Love meeting new people, message me if you want to know more

kait11's page activity

Visits<b>IsaacAmpora</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 8:49pm<b>angelicdevil</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 2:47am<b>Tyler008</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 8:39pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 7:41am<b>foog19</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 12:00pm<b>ripjawed</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 5:05am<b>colombiatti</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 2:42am<b>ihatemyschool</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 2:39pm<b>nevertellme</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 4:48pm<b>arsenicalhumor</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 7:44am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:00am<b>NordicPride89</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 11:20pm<b>hamburgerjung</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 6:45pm<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 1:11am<b>QU33NOFAWKWARD</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 10:41pm<b>specialist8404</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 6:13pm<b>JCBeast</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 10:44am<b>BFons</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 8:08pm

kait11's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kait11's badges

kait11's favorite FMLs

Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML

#17443433
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35912) - you deserved it (2300)

On 08/11/2011 at 7:38pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML

#17399752
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23395) - you deserved it (4560)

On 08/07/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Polmkk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while watching tv at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realizes she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML

#17393465
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31521) - you deserved it (4490)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by cargaljen - United States (Missouri)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34531) - you deserved it (3439)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

#17381652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31030) - you deserved it (5253)

On 08/05/2011 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML

#17379183
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22870) - you deserved it (2814)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40091) - you deserved it (3227)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33473) - you deserved it (3649)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73502) - you deserved it (7666)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35147) - you deserved it (4479)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

#15203950
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36547) - you deserved it (12440)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was on the bus. I heard a click right before something small hit my cheek. I looked over to see the lady next to me cutting her long, dirty fingernails. The bus was too crowded to move and It was a 20 minute ride to work. FML

#15004070
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24675) - you deserved it (2163)

On 02/16/2011 at 4:08pm - misc - by clips (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I printed out a picture of the popular girl in school as a sort of 'model' for how I wanted my hair cut. The hairdresser taped the picture to the mirror so he could see. Halfway through, my 'model' came in for an appointment. FML

#14993879
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28383) - you deserved it (19671)

On 02/15/2011 at 8:34pm - misc - by nerdychick (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45171) - you deserved it (13022)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (174292) - you deserved it (17976)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: