kait11

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Offline (the 06/19/2015 at 7:52am)

kait11

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5113
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kait11 : College student studying criminal justice and psychology-
Work with autistic people
Long brown hair~blue eyes~five foot three and a half inches tall.
Love meeting new people, message me if you want to know more

kait11's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 3:12pm<b>Westifer</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 8:45pm<b>AwkwardKryssi</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 11:14pm<b>rlfender32</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 11:50pm<b>amcquaid</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:27pm<b>mikepzz</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 9:01pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:30pm<b>kdub2005</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:12am<b>IsaacAmpora</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 8:49pm<b>angelicdevil</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 2:47am<b>Tyler008</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 8:39pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 7:41am<b>foog19</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 12:00pm<b>ripjawed</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 5:05am<b>colombiatti</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 2:42am<b>ihatemyschool</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 2:39pm<b>nevertellme</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 4:48pm<b>arsenicalhumor</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 7:44am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 9:12pm<b>rlfender32</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:49am

kait11's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kait11's badges

kait11's favorite FMLs

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was walking around school alone and felt someone tap my back. I laughed and turned around to find no one was there. I felt confused when I felt the tapping again, which is when I chose to yell at the nearest person, "What?!" I later found out it was a bottle in my backpack tapping me. FML

by ohmygod582 / 04/13/2014 at 9:32pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

by Ticklish / 04/13/2014 at 5:33am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

by Vampprobs / 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was struggling through small-talk at a party where I knew nobody. Tattoos came up and I started talking about trendy, girly tattoos like feathers, anchors and infinity signs with stupid words in them. Turns out the girl I was talking to had all three. FML

by thisismyawkwardface / 02/19/2014 at 2:17am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed my laptop kept shutting down and the mouse cursor was all over the place, clicking on every folder. I dismantled the entire computer only to notice something in one of my USB drives: the receiver to a wireless mouse my colleague put there earlier to play a prank on me. 5ML

by Kenny / 01/24/2014 at 2:16am / Nigeria (Lagos) / Work

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

by loserllamalick / 10/07/2013 at 10:32am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

by scared shitless in ohio / 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML

by Undercooked / 09/24/2013 at 3:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

by Craigslist is Evil. / 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy