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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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k_li

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k_li
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4143
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About k_li : I tell it like it is :)
Go complain to the fairies.

k_li's last visitors

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k_li's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving a tour on campus when one of my friends approached us and said "Don't go here, the weed's too expensive." and walked away. Thinking he's coming back to say he's joking, he instead say "i'm just kidding its really cheap" and walked away. I may or may not still have a job. FML

#920019 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (37613) - you deserved it (3415)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by JimmyJazzNJ (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347 (416)

I agree, your life sucks (27648) - you deserved it (92088)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

#873760 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (19986) - you deserved it (47183)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

#867771 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (57799) - you deserved it (3406)

On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

#858893 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (52754) - you deserved it (11907)

On 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm - kids - by ugly (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167887) - you deserved it (51037)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML

#620278 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (20523) - you deserved it (53080)

On 03/26/2009 at 11:42am - kids - by CaoNiMa (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

#597085 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (29086) - you deserved it (63576)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML

#385817 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (84956) - you deserved it (29415)

On 03/16/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by badbirthday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as things were heating up, my closet door flew open and my little brother ran out screaming, "Mom, they're doing it, come quick!" My mom paid my 9 year old brother to spy on me. FML

#309354 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (100677) - you deserved it (11932)

On 03/13/2009 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by evanescence (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (362731) - you deserved it (401014)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML

#198031 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (82112) - you deserved it (4710)

On 03/03/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by ILTali (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, eating at a nice restaurant and feeling curious, I daringly ask for the surprise 'Maiden's Dreams' desert. The waiter comes back with a banana between two ice cream balls on a plate and no spoon. FML

#689 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (11442) - you deserved it (4464)

On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version