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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (4473)
Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26937) - you deserved it (2469)
On 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by wowhoopla - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14831) - you deserved it (4727)
On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20147) - you deserved it (5205)
On 01/09/2010 at 3:16am - misc - by Snowin2007 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13572) - you deserved it (20551)
On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38583) - you deserved it (2235)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)
Today, while I was in confession, I was saying my sins and the priest called me a "pain in the ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28946) - you deserved it (7247)
On 11/29/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by ? - United States
Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23955) - you deserved it (3601)
On 11/29/2009 at 2:13am - kids - by Granmacathy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53682) - you deserved it (5836)
On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States
Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8181) - you deserved it (35997)
On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20009) - you deserved it (5294)
On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my date arrived far earlier than expected to pick me up. Apparently my mother decided to show him to my room anyway. When the door swung open, I happened to be butt naked in front of the mirror, trying to pick out an ingrown hair on my bum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33440) - you deserved it (3882)
On 11/13/2009 at 7:17am - misc - by stubblebutt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I realized that if you are too lazy to get completely dressed in the morning and only put on a top, you should not answer a Skype video call from your boss that involves you standing up, turning around and grabbing files from your filing cabinet all in clear view of your web cam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5314) - you deserved it (26802)
On 11/11/2009 at 8:54pm - work - by julie (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my credit card number was stolen. The thief used it to purchase identity theft protection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (1674)
On 11/10/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had a police officer come to my house because I've been reported missing. My friends online decided to call the police because I haven't signed in for 6 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25808) - you deserved it (4785)
On 11/07/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by iheartvodka (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Monday 17 June 2013
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