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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him 20$. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51293) - you deserved it (3213)
On 07/09/2009 at 2:33am - intimacy - by Told_You_So (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62002) - you deserved it (10973)
On 07/08/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by onething (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13099) - you deserved it (41852)
On 07/07/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58225) - you deserved it (5064)
On 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm - kids - by dad (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37396) - you deserved it (8668)
On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46641) - you deserved it (5107)
On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I rushed home to tell my parents my girlfriend had accepted my proposal. They asked how I could be so selfish at a time like this. Apparently, Michael Jackson's death is more important than their son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61534) - you deserved it (4577)
On 06/25/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Tom (man) - United States (New York)
Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23704) - you deserved it (57833)
On 06/23/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by FattyMcFatterson (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was using the bathroom in a department store. When I was finished, I couldn't get the stall door open. I am claustrophobic and I freaked out and and started shouting for help. A 6 year old boy got the door open for me. It turns out I was pushing when I should have been pulling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6257) - you deserved it (33448)
On 06/18/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by ToiletTony (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10211) - you deserved it (41915)
On 06/18/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by OompaLoompa (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I finished the run for a play in which I played a gay man. Now that all the performances are over, I have kissed a man more times in my life than I have kissed a woman. I'm straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40104) - you deserved it (6923)
On 06/17/2009 at 10:06am - love - by yashmoshin1 (man) - United States
Today, I realised that my glade plug-in air freshner lasts longer than any of my relationships have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40518) - you deserved it (6902)
On 05/15/2009 at 2:14am - love - by heartless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19247) - you deserved it (32057)
On 05/15/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by badboyfriends (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had a really important job interview, and as i was about to leave for it my mom told me to remember to make eye contact. As I was walking in, it was the only thing I could think about, so looking directly at him my foot hits a lip in the floor and my head slams into his desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (236) - you deserved it (5052)
On 05/12/2009 at 1:48am - work - by pdnne (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I received a list of employee names who were losing their jobs and I had to remove them from the system as I work for IT. I was on the list. That's right. My last responsibility as an employee was removing myself from the system for security reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57991) - you deserved it (1800)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:41pm - work - by IT_4_Hire (man) - United States (Indiana)
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