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justdiebitches's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
justdiebitches's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my boss asked if I'd finished my work for the day. I've been binge-watching Game of Thrones this week, and I accidentally replied "Yes, Your Grace," British accent and all. He told me to stow my "sarcasm" or I'd be looking for a new job. FML
by Sir Davos of Shit Creek / 05/13/2016 at 4:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays
Today, my brother and I got food poisoning because of the shady chicken subs we ate last night. Our mom thinks we're faking it and sent us to school anyway. I'm coming to you live from a school toilet while missing a test. FML
by goddamn chicken subs / 03/24/2016 at 12:51pm / United States / Health
by Humaned / 03/13/2016 at 4:54pm / Cura?ao / Kids
Today, during class, a girl had suggested how I, a 16 year-old guy, would be a high maintenance girlfriend. We sat and debated this, allowing for other people to listen in and agree with her, and eventually the entire class agreed with her. Even the teacher. FML
by ThatSped / 02/17/2016 at 10:22pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/16/2016 at 11:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML
by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/14/2016 at 4:15am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Health
Today, barely 2 hours into a 5 hour car ride home, my mom accidentally let slip that she's been cheating on my dad. I had to sit with the bitch in a diner for ages while my dad bawled his eyes out alone in the car. FML
by Anonymous / 02/07/2016 at 1:11am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML
by Anonymous / 02/04/2016 at 9:22pm / United States (Maryland) / Health
Today, I tried to explain autism to my classmates. One of them, a professional cunt who's always looking for an excuse to lecture people, accused me of being "ableist" because my explanations weren't accurate, and said I shouldn't explain things I don't understand. I'm actually autistic. FML
by Ishikur / 02/03/2016 at 8:33am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, my parents have deliberately ruined my last 2 relationships, because they want me to get back together with my ex simply because he is my son's dad. Apparently, my son needs his father more than I need a man who won't beat me every time he gets drunk. FML
by anon / 01/31/2016 at 4:38pm / United States / Work
by Dexter_39476 / 01/24/2016 at 12:40am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous
by ugh / 01/23/2016 at 3:48pm / United States (California) / Transportation