Me me me. A few things:
I'm just another human, except the Magnum PI theme begins playing in the background when I wake up every morning. I spend my off-time hunting Velociraptors, and I can't say I believe in *the* truth; we all have our own. I don't believe it's necessary to hide things, but it's what I do. I'm very good at it. All things come to an end.
Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41436) - you totally deserved it (3149)
On 07/26/2009 at 12:28am - love - by nosrepamai82 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my son decided to come out of the closet by wearing a shirt that said "Mom, I'm gay" to the family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27264) - you totally deserved it (13539)
On 07/25/2009 at 5:14pm - kids - by Mom (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was shopping at COSTCO for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me I heard somebody say "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35123) - you totally deserved it (5198)
On 07/23/2009 at 1:23am - love - by costcocondoms (man) - Mexico (Baja California)
Today, my girlfriend came over to talk. She just got back from a small vacation. She asked me to feed her dogs while she was gone, so I did. I even stayed with them at times so they wouldnt get lonely. My girlfriend had come over to break up with me. She didn't do so earlier because she needed her dogs fed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41130) - you totally deserved it (1359)
On 07/06/2009 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37333) - you totally deserved it (18466)
On 07/06/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by expen_dable (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33318) - you totally deserved it (4567)
On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15270) - you totally deserved it (69669)
On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was gay. The executor read it out loud. My mom was the only one who knew. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66489) - you totally deserved it (4848)
On 06/11/2009 at 7:51am - money - by TSampson (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42510) - you totally deserved it (12245)
On 05/01/2009 at 10:28am - intimacy - by badluckdrew (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
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