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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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justanotherhuman

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justanotherhuman
  • Town/Country : Broward County, FL, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 780
  • Number of comments : 472
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About justanotherhuman : As an attractive white male between the ages of 18 and 45 with a sharp wit, loud mouth, and access to incredible civil and criminal litigators... I am the American Dream. Particularly fond of the intimacy section; it proves lust wins out over all with extraordinarily reliable consistency. I test boundaries for a living and appropriately, the Magnum PI theme begins playing in the background when I wake up every morning.

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justanotherhuman's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Fingerprints everywhere

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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justanotherhuman's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

#18070582 (366)

I agree, your life sucks (19372) - you deserved it (20878)

On 10/25/2011 at 6:15am - intimacy - by sad - Reserved

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286 (427)

I agree, your life sucks (31392) - you deserved it (13107)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

#6117794 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (33288) - you deserved it (2309)

On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML

#4043992 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (49618) - you deserved it (3938)

On 07/26/2009 at 12:28am - love - by nosrepamai82 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was working at the gas station. An old lady was watching me fill her gas tank. A really beautiful girl walked by. I lost concentration and overfilled the tank. I quickly pulled it out and squirted the old lady with a bit of petrol. She was smiling and gave a slight moan. FML

#3611861 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (39896) - you deserved it (9081)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Fattie (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, my girlfriend came over to talk. She just got back from a small vacation. She asked me to feed her dogs while she was gone, so I did. I even stayed with them at times so they wouldnt get lonely. My girlfriend had come over to break up with me. She didn't do so earlier because she needed her dogs fed. FML

#3529390 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (45913) - you deserved it (1846)

On 07/06/2009 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

#661322 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (58002) - you deserved it (27259)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909 (375)

I agree, your life sucks (138216) - you deserved it (18732)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML

#570871 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (71336) - you deserved it (4102)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by proudestmonkey (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to answer it. It was her fiance that I knew nothing about. She told me she was engaged while I was still inside of her. FML

#552501 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (87544) - you deserved it (5666)

On 03/23/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by MID12 (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

#538708 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (51096) - you deserved it (5323)

On 03/22/2009 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by liz1234 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (120091) - you deserved it (18810)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML

#526932 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (80687) - you deserved it (5273)

On 03/22/2009 at 5:05am - intimacy - by trina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

#505547 (367)

I agree, your life sucks (268269) - you deserved it (24539)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a call from the hospital that my fiance was in the ER. When I arrived at the hospital they told me that he had a heart attack while making love. FML

#469613 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (208693) - you deserved it (7653)

On 03/19/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by jmoney (woman) - United States